Under The Plaid Skirt

Great. Finally getting a second shot at some one on one time with the old crush and mother nature rears its ugly head. I hate being a woman sometimes :-(

Apparently I’m having a clandestine, yet bordering on public, affair with my CEO…if I believe my dreams that is. Geez…now I need to go wash my brain out with soap…help me!

I received an email back from the old crush…but I am afraid to open it. First, it took him a week to reply. Second, I’m a chicken shit.  

At the end our short run together 5 years ago, he sent me an email. It was the last thing he wrote to me and basically the last communication that we had. I waited a while to open it, for fear it was bad news (i.e., telling me it was over, which wood have made it official). He dodged my calls and I was playing dumb to his disappearing act. I knew it was over, but didn’t want to believe it. He was supposed to go to a wedding with me back home and pick me up at the airport. I assumed that he wasn’t going to do either. However, I hoped that he was at least an upstanding guy and tell me that he couldn’t make it. Any excuse would have worked for me. Anything.  But, over the phone. I felt that an email was the cowardly way to go. Yet, that is what I received. I couldn’t bear to read it. After a few days - or maybe it was a week, I can’t really remember - I had a really close guy friend read the email. My friend gave me the synopsis, which confirmed my suspicions. Since my heartbreak had been building slowly, the landing of that fall wasn’t as bad. It still hurt though.  

I had also asked him about a pair of earrings I had left at his house a month earlier, hoping to get them back in person. What I was really hoping for was an explanation in person. I never got it. I received an envelope by mail before I headed back east for the wedding. I couldn’t bear to open that either. I could tell that my earrings were in there, but they were surrounded by a piece of paper. 

When I finally opened the envelope, after I had arrived back east, the paper was blank.  A meager attempt to protect the jewelry inside. Still no answer.   

So, five years later and and a renewed connection. I wonder if I will get that explanation. How long will it take me to find out if he has given it to me in the email? Or will his words just be fluffy conversation?

As I said….chicken shit :-P

One of the short stories I have been working on involves a real life experience about seeing a crush years later…and reconnecting. We were both interested at the time and the physical connection was electric. However, several circumstances affected the relationship. For one, we were living 3,000 miles apart. In the end, it didn’t work out. Plus, we didn’t have the best ”ending” to that relationship. So, I sucked on that sorrow for a while. He got married and had a daughter. I moved back to the east coast, but still over 300 miles away from my hometown area, where he lived. I couldn’t bear to run into him. I tried to forget about him, but because of the story (not yet completed) I haven’t.

Fast forward five years. I am now living here. I just saw him on a dating site. He is now divorced. Still HOT. I got butterflies in my stomach…just like every other time I saw him…or was with him. I wonder if it would work this time around. Or maybe seeing him out there and looking will help me to finish my story. Maybe it takes my story in a different direction.

Either way, I sent him an email. I didn’t ask for a reply. I simply told him that he looks great (which he does) and congrats on his beautiful daughter.

I wonder if he will respond…and what I will do if he does?